Control is not just a song sung by Janet Jackson, it's something we must have in order to make things happen 😉.
I started putting my mental and physical health over my usual habits that became too comfortable. In doing so, I am on a constant high of happiness. For a while I lost myself. Part me left when my sister passed last July. Also, I was allowing the environment around me to control how I felt. It was a lot of negative energy. I can never replace my sister, but I can allow myself to grieve and think of the happier times. I am no longer in an environment that will cause me to reflect so negatively. This move was an adjustment and I am starting to find my purpose.
I stop saying no so quickly. Being here alone has allowed me to say yes for myself and not have to worry about how it would affect my family at that very moment. Don’t get me wrong, I miss my family, but they are doing awesome. The show is still going on without mommy. I consider my video chats guest appearances until I return and become a regular cast member again. Deon managed to teach Lauryn how to ride a bike. With the help of the Tuckers, the kids got to play their first kickball game. I love that they can be kids. I stay so active so I can keep up with them when I return. Deon is getting the assistance he needs when he needs it. Again, I am so very thankful for our village.
I said yes to joining a hiking club. I love being outdoors, well with some control. Like having bug spray, sunscreen, cookies, my phone, and etc. I hope you all didn’t think I just meant outdoors for real lol. Just kidding, I do. The hike I went on was so therapeutic. I pushed myself and those around me. I took in all of the views and the beauty of nature. I also made some new acquaintances for future hikes.
I was invited over for some of the best homemade tacos I have ever eaten, great conversation, and good company after the hike. The apartments here in Korea are really nice. I can’t wait to live in one once my other half arrives.
I am living, I am learning, and I am still growing. I am so glad that I am taking control of my mental/physical health and not continuing my usual habits.
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